کودکی؛

مفهومی گمشده در دنیای مدرن

شانزدهمین روز از اول مهرماه به نام کودک مزین شده و از ۱۳ مهر تا ۱۹ مهر تحت عنوان هفته کودک نام‌گداری شده تا دراین ایام اهمیت دوران کودکی یاداوری شود.

بدون شک دوران کودکی بهترین دوران زندگی در همه افراد است و درست در زمان‌هایی که فشار زندگی صبروقرار را از آدم گرفته با خود نجوا می‌کنیم که ایکاش در عالم بدون غم کودکی می‌ماندم.

دوران کودکی متولدین ۵۰ و ۶۰ و تا نیمه‌های ۷۰ پر از شیطنت و بازی‌گوشی بود .

در آن سال‌ها خبری از گوشی و اینترنت و بازی اندروید نبود و بچه‌ها بیشتر دور هم جمع شده و به شیطنت مشغول می‌شدند و در کل سر و صدای کودکانی که در مهمانی‌ها بازی می‌کردند شادی آور جمع بود.

اما امروزه با تغییر سبک زندگی و رفتن به سمت مدرنیته شدن به دنبال تغییر رفتار کودکان نیز بوده و اگر فرزندمان به طبع کودکی خود مشغول شیطنت و بازی شود اورا توبیخ کرده و از او می‌خواهیم به مانند ما ادم بزرگ‌ها رفتار کند.

قدیم ترها اگر از خانه‌ای سرو صدا نمیامد همسایگان متوجه شده که یا این همسایه زوج میانسالی بوده و یا هنوز کودکی ندارند اما این شیوه در دوره جدید بدون کاربرد بوده چرا که بسیاری از خانه‌ها کودکان بی و سر و صدا در حال گذران بهترین و مهم‌ترین دوران زندگی خود هستند.

از انجا که دوران کودکی اهمیت و اثرات زیادی در دوران بزرگ‌سالی و آینده کودکان دارد بر ان شدیم تا با یک روان‌شناس و پژوهشگر اجتماعی پیرامون سواثرات و آسیب‌هایی که  کودکی نکردن فرزندانمان بر آینده آن‌ها می‌گذارد صحبت کنیم.

تغییر نگاه به کودک

یک پژوهشگر و فعال اجتماعی می‌گوید: ما بر اساس نگاه به زندگی و زاویه خود به شدت دنبال فرزندانی اطاعت پذیر و مظلوم هستیم.

محمدرضا ایمانی در مصاحبه با رسانه”صبح امروز” می‌افزاید: ما شیطنت و بازی‌های کودکانه را از کودکان خود گرفته  یا به عبارتی دزدیده و اگر کودکی در مقابل ما کودکی کند اورا بی ادب خوانده و مدعی شده که او تربیت لازم را ندارد.

وی تصریح می‌کند: امروزه کودکان درون‌گرا به شدت مورد توجه قرار گرفته چرا که این کودک در مهمانی‌ها و دورهمی‌های خانوادگی  بدون هیچ سرو صدا و شیطنتی گوشه‌ای را برای نشستن انتخاب کرده و مشغول نگاه کردن به دیگران است و این رفتار او مور پسند همگان است.

تربیت کودک ساکت ممنوع

این روان‌شناس اظهار می‌کند: این نوع نگاه به کودک و ترویج آن در سطح جامعه روش تربیتی اشتباهی بوده چرا که کودکان به کودکی کردن نیاز دارند .

وی توضیح می‌دهد: پدر و مادری که قصد فرزندآوری داشته بدانند و آگاه باشند که کودک از همان ابتدا که نطفه‌ای بیش نیست علاوه بر خوراک و پوشاک نیازمند توجه و وقت است.

ایمانی ابراز می‌کند: اوج عشق و محبت در یک خانواده می‌شود تولد فرزندی که از شیره وجود مرد و زن گرفته شده و نمایان‌گر عشق میان خانواده است و این کودک از لحاظ ژن خصوصیات اخلاقی تلفیقی از هردو است.

کودک با نیازهای متفاوت

وی ادامه می‌دهد: بسیاری از والدین به نیازهای کودکان آگاه نبوده و از همان ابتدای تولد به دنبال تربیت کودک آن هم به روش اشتباه هستیم.

این فعال اجتماعی تشریح می‌کند: خشونت همیشه با آزار جسمی و تنبیه همراه نبوده بلکه گاها برخی از برخوردهایی که مناقض با نیاز کودکان بوده و خانواده آن را به کودک تحمیل می‌کنند خشونت رخ می‌دهد.

خشونت علیه کودکان همیشه جسمی نیست

وی تبیین می‌کند: فرزندان ما در سنین کودکی پر از انرژی بوده  به دنبال این است که با بازی کردن این سطح از انرژی خو را آزاد کند و رفتار نابجای والدین که کودک را محکوم و مجبور به سکون می‌کنند آسیب‌های بسیاری بر آینده او می‌گذارد.

ایمانی می‌گوید: باید برای کودک خود وقت گذاشته چرا که کودکان هم نیازهایی دارند و البته درددل‌هایی که نیازمند هستند گاها آن را با دیگران به اشتراک بگذارند و چه بهتر که در مورد این حس و حرف‌ها درون خانواده و با پدرو مادرصحبت شود‌.

فرزندان نیازمند گذران وقت با ما هستند

وی ابراز می‌کند: والدین باید زمان مشخصی را با کودکان خود گذرانده و پدر و مادر خوب کسانی هستند که بدانند فرزندشان از بدو تولد نیازهایی را داشته که با رشد او این نیازها نیز تغییر پیدا کرده و با کودک باید به اقتضای سن و نیازهای او رفتار شود .

ایمانی تاکید می‌کند: بگدارید کودکان کودکی کنند چرا که فرزندان ما نیاز دارند به گذراندن این دوران و به هیچ وجه سعی نکنیم بر پایه و اساس این دوران تغییری را وارد کرده و آن‌ها زودتر از موعد وارد دنیای ادم بزرگ‌ها نکنیم.

رفتاری همراه با احترام

وی خاطر نشان می‌کند: والدین باید از همان ابتدای کودکی با فرزندان خود رفتاری محبت آمیز همراه با احترام داشته باشند تا عزت نفس در کودک به طور کامل شکل گرفته و از همان کودکی اورا با حس استقلال و تعهد و مسیولیت پذیری آشنا کرده و با او در کارها و بازی‌ها مشارکت داشته باشیم.

ایمانی اذعان می‌کند: این روزها کودکان سرزمین من کودکی خود را گم کرده و خیلی زود وارد دنیای بزرگ‌ترها می‌شوند و چه به وفور کودکانی را در اطراف خود میبینیم که نه تنها نوع پوشش ان‌ها مانند بزرگ‌سال ها بوده بلکه رفتارهایشان نیز خبر از عدم کودکی می‌دهد.

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