تحصیل آسان با نان اضافه و سس!
این روزهای سرد زمستانی که مسئولان پرحرارت و و پرگاز در حال آچارکشی طرح سوفسطایی رتبه بندی فرهنگیان هستند و سه گانه دولت ، مجلس و شورای نگهبان در حال پاسکاری این ایونت یا رویداد بزرگ مالی هستد، این لابلا جماعتی در تلاشند سطح سواد آکادمیک ما را به صورت پلکانی و آفرودی بالا ببرند!
حقیقتاً وقتی در مقولاتی چون آرایش منطقه ای چهره ، اعمال جراحی زیبایی، تعداد دستگاه های پوز و کارت بانکی، مصرف آنتی بیوتیک، نوشابه، شکر، نمک حامل های انرژی و … در سطح جهانی دارای رنکینگ قابل اعتنایی هستیم، صورت خوشی ندارد در زمینه مدرک تحصیلی و سواد آکادمیک در رده بندی جهانی اول تا سوم نباشیم!
در همین راستا عده ای از عزیزان دست به کار شدند و با راه انداختن دانشگاه های زیر پله ای و تراسی، مقدمات تحصیل آسان با نان اضافه و سس فرانسوی را فراهم کردند. از وزیر علوم تحقیقات و فن آوری پنهان نیست از شما چه پنهان، دیروز پیامکی دریافت کردیم با این مضمون: تحصیل شاغلین ویژه شاغلین؛ کاردانی و کارشناسی، بدون حضور در کلاس! ارسال عدد 8
ملاحظه فرمودید؟! یعنی شما تا کسب مدرک تحصیلی آکادمیک فقط هشت عدد فاصله دارید!
البته دوستان در جریان هستند که ایرانی ها در بحث سواد و اطلاعات علمی مشکل خاصی ندارند و در باب هر موضوعی توان ارائه انواع و اقسام تحلیل های علمی – تخیلی را دارند! حالا می خواهد «پیچیده ترین منیفست های سیاسی و اقتصادی جهانی» باشد یا گلاب رویتان مقوله «عرق سوز شدن رانندگان خطی دروازه دولاب – بازار!»
خلاصه کسی کم نمی آورد. اما حقیقت امر پای مدرک تحصیلی آکادمیک در میان است که دو روز دیگر یونسکو و سازمان ملل و … مثل داستان AFC به ما گیر ندهند!
در ضمن همانطور که در متن پیامک مشاهده فرمودید جهت اخذ اینگونه مدارک، تحصیلی رویم به دیوار ، نیاز به حضور در کلاس و شرکت در امتحان و زبانم لال درس خواندن و این دست مسخره بازی های رایج نیست! می ماند یک مختصری کار تحقیقاتی که هر کافی نتی مراجعه کنید مشکل تان را حل می کند و چندرغاز شهریه که با یک وام قرض الحسنه کوتاه مدت ردیف است!
فقط خدا کند با این مدل درس خواندن و سیاست های تشویقی آفرودی، همانطور که پرونده های قضایی ما با پرونده های قضایی هند یک میلیاردی برابر شده است، مدارک تحصیلی ما مثل تعداد کارت های بانکی مان نشود!
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